Saturday, March 31, 2007 @ 11:45 PM
friday was I&E day.. no comments about that there. maybe except about our first game, Cuban Missle Crisis. wow lah, WWIII. oh yeah, and for some unknown reason, i was really tulan that day. Zzz.
had to wake up damn early again on saturday, to make for DE training. was half awake on my way there already, and just outside the school i get a call from li jie, telling me im supposed to be facilitator today. wow lah. to think i would get to know earlier. oh well. it was okay, den not FIVE minutes after i hung up, another call came. this time dunno from who, and telling me AGAIN i have to facilitate. okay okay, i get the point.
first game was quite fun. we were blindfolded and placed randomly around AJ square, and were supposed to form a chain and arrange ourselves according to our birthdays. and wow lah, the facilitator (dunno who, cos im blindfolded) kept making me walk in circles. until my head super giddy, and i couldnt walk straight after that. and guess what? i didnt move from my actual spot.
second game i did facilitation. the game was some variation from the DE camp last year. and my group.. i think hates me. i asked a question, and got one person reply me, "i dont see what's the point of the game." wow lah. but anyway, no hard feelings, and the rest was piece of cake. with Mr Ng helping me lah.
went down to kangrui's house after. rain like crap, rush to YCK at 430.
i think 300 is a damn good movie. the spartans only had 300 men against the invading army of MILLIONS lah. and they never gave up, even after their allies left them. wow lah. a bit like dynasty warrior, one person kill so many. the effects were really good also, heads and legs and arms dropping off like nobody's business. but i think overall the show really impressed me by their fighting spirit, even by the queen who sacrificed herself just to ensure the king had reinforcements. it was.. wow lah.
i wonder if we can be like the spartans, never yielding, never shifting. an impenetrable phalanx..
Thursday, March 29, 2007 @ 6:23 AM
this week has been so.. tiring. its kinda inexplicable i guess. oh yeah, this week of school has officially ended 'cos tomorrow is I&E day, so there's no official lessons. except training. >.<
today ran through friday's timetable. short, yet still quite exhausting day. considering that the whole week has been physically and mentally draining.
i hate this flu! i wanna recover quick. i cant breathe through my nose when i do my taolu or during running, and its really really tiring to breathe through my mouth. and stitches love me.
oh yeah, and there is still training at serangoon and performance this weekend. holy shit.
but i guess this week has been more reflective in the sense that i do pause once in a while to consider what ive been doing. today was especially good. i think i managed to bring my point across to my brother successfully, albeit a little scolding beforehand. but i guess the crux is not whether the recepient likes or accepts what you are trying to teach or impart. its how you do it -- the process which really matters -- the rest will come automatically later. oh well. lets hope i can still keep my temper and emotions under check.
especially when im near you.
Monday, March 26, 2007 @ 7:44 AM
for the record, today was amazing quick and easy. not the day i expected it to be, but hey, im not complaining.
heaven must be playing tricks on me. i look at my umbrella this morning, think about what my man patrick said about it raining today, and went, "nawwww.." AND I LEFT THE UMBRELLA WHERE IT WAS.
train comes out of the tunnel from Braddell towards Bishan -- bida-ba-boom. rain like it never rained before. wow lah. had the intention of chionging to school in the rain, and just before i took the step out of the shelter, BIDA-BA-BOOOOOMMM! even heavier rain. WOW LAH. rang alford who kindly came out of school to shelter me in. thanks a million bro. for getting me wet nevertheless. >.<
i never actually said why today would be long and tiring eh. its 'cos you put physics SPA practice, vectors test deadline, chemistry preSPA, NAPFA test and the economics symposium auditions all in one day. and you get a REALLY LONG AND TIRING DAY.
watched my video of the ce shi from saturday. cant say i did well. im really too slow. goddamn. why cant i do this right? after 6 years of wushu training and experience you'd think maybe ill do better? wtf. but i liked my ping hen though. XD
practically stoned through the whole day because of lack of sleep and the bloody panadol cold relief pills weaken me. like siao.
the best way to end a long day? crap with teachers. the econs symposium auditions was such a fluke, a nice one in fact. our 3++ hour research session at patrick's house yesterday turned out to be amusing. PDA constants and CheatCode Curves like you've never seen 'em before. (which is quite true, you've never seen 'em, 'cos its our creation). i am particularly proud of the CCC, which was an impromptu crapstorm (like, y'know, brainstorm?) outside of LT2.
oh jeez look at the time. ciao.
i know how wil feels. totally. and i really feel sorry for him, and those in that kind of circumstance. the feeling of jealousy, the feeling of anger, of outrage, of just wanting to whack someone. i know it all too well.
he sees her standing in the corridor; he tries to catch her attention. a shadow steps out of a doorway, enveloping the space between them; like a huge wall bent on segregation and separation. the warmth he felt when he saw her fades, and the cold, cold darkness of standing alone sets in.
his world, fades.. to black.
Sunday, March 25, 2007 @ 8:16 AM
back again. sian-jee-puah week.
friday was as usual. except we had to stay back for so long just to finish editing the competition group song. had late dinner, felt even more sick, reached home at 12, slept at 2, woke at 6, slept again and woke at 615. argh. >.<
yest went to catholic high for ce shi. i felt even more nervous than the usual performances in school. i guess it 'cos there were our opponents from rjc and njc there. and wenda and the rest of the jiao lians. haiz.
if its one thing about a competition carpet, its like a double-edged sword. it allows you to jump higher and have more friction ( and hence stability ), but at the same time, the fact that the grounds are comprised of 4 carpets joined together makes it really hard to maintain balance at the edges.
i dont really know how i did, the average responses were really ambiguous. i realised i always ask how i did for my taolu after i do it once. i guess im really over paranoid about my performance. but i guess getting other people's views are a way of improving.
i must keep up the tempo, keep going. i want to win at the competition! but then it seems quite hopeless. i think even coach and the rest gave up on me already. haiz. this sucks man. in the end, im the one pulling everyone back.
today sucked too. tuition was messy, research was crappy, bball was sucky. shit lah. my life is full of failures.
ahh fuck this emo post. yeah. pardon my fuckin' language. (i mean it.)
why am i so inept at doing certain things? why am i able to establish such a high EQ outside home but back here, i seem to fuck everything up? i cant manage my life like this. i cant even speak to my sibling nicely when im mad. fuck this shit. i must start using my kidneys before i talk luh.
bloody hell, why do some things go wrong? one person cant take too many blows at once. punch in the face ain't enough, still wanna break my arms and legs and maybe kick me in the balls den shuang. thats my screwed up life whacking me upside down for you.
Monday, March 19, 2007 @ 8:27 AM
okay. here goes. arthur lim fucked the day up. and dont ask why, 'cos im seriously still tempted to whack something.
but then i came home and read my email after giving up on my homework (>.<) and i got these stuff. it really meant quite a bit to me, so im sharing it with you guys.
One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the
country with the
express purpose of showing him how poor people live.
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be
considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the
trip?"
"It was great, Dad."
"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.
"Oh yeah," said the son.
"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.
The son answered:
"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a
creek that has no end.
We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.
Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go
beyond our sight.
We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.
We buy our food, but they grow theirs.
We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to
protect them."
The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."
isnt it amazing what different perspectives can bring you?
too bad there's only one view from here.. im feeling like the frog in the well.
Friday, March 16, 2007 @ 5:34 AM
time really flies when ure enjoying yourself.. almost one week has passed already.
okay here's my week in a nutshell.
monday i had my NS medical check. my appointment time was 9am but i reported in at about 830am. good choice -- i was allowed to start early and consequently end early too. first stop was the admin counter in the middle of the hall. the clerk asked me if i knew my blood group, and i said yes. he asked me to provide documentary proof. so i said it should be in my health booklet. wow lah, after so many years, i realised my health booklet is incomplete. so had to take blood test. guess what? the medic is an ex-AJCian. crapped with him until the test was over. and then on and on to the rest of the stations. i guess the worst part was the freaking computer test. had me sit there for nearly an hour++ just pressing numbers. checked out at about 1230.
tuesday was DE instructor training camp day one. first off, i had completely forgotten to bring slacks. super malu lah, tio scolding not only by teachers but also the high elements instructors. if not for yuding who thank god brought extra pair of slacks, i would not have been able to do the ropes and stuff. met a lot of really fun people during this camp. first up, we have cheryn! my twin! but then again its a no link kinda relationship. (she calls me her twin 'cos our handwriting looks the same >.<) then next is mingxuan! my gay partner lol.. nt forgetting yongyuan! super high and crazy fella.. and the rest of group D1 instructors! love ya guys. the high elements was nuts. period. try jumping outta a 3 storey building and you'll know what i mean.
wednesday was the last day. today was general stations. there was a shuffle of groups so i was separated from most of group D1. heh. but anyway, we had loads of fun yeah. back to school after, and then we had voting for the CI and DCI. results out on next saturday. rushed off to the training stay over at zhexu's place and ubi. but today was slack. lol. sang songs at zhexu's house (and kept his parents up awake) till about 3 am. then crashed on his bed and didnt wake up.
thursday was the actual training. we were supposed to wake at 7 plus to get ready. but in the end, we left the house at 11+. wow lah. and i slept in the room even though i was supposed to take the living room. haha. train until about 6, then went to play some games with the team. taught them how to play this spas game called "mmm cheet cheet" which i learnt at DE. wil.. being lagg again tio forfeit which was totally hilarious. haha, paiseh leh wil. ordered in KFC, and went home to nice soft beds.
today training in school. we did some stuff for the group event, and now the routine is really fun! haha. but tiring and a bit scary when coach says "the next part is gonna be fun". what a way with words.
i guess there's nothing much more interesting about my life.. thats all i have to it. what a spas life, what a spas week.
rotting away..
Sunday, March 11, 2007 @ 7:44 AM
okay, i saw this really fun thing on taz's blog. which incidentally he koped from someone else's blog. so its goes on. (:
1. put your music player on shuffle
2. press forward for each question
3. use the song title for the answer to the question even if it doesnt make sense. NO CHEATING
4. comment. be nice. (:here goes:
How are you feeling today?``here without you - 3 doors down
yeah, ive been missing you for a week dammit.
How do your friends see you?``bring me to life - evanescence
umm, you see me as a dead guy? oh god, im starting to regret this. -.-
Will you get married?``自我催眠-羅志祥
a hypotized marriage.. woah i hope the bride isnt some ugly betty.
What's your best friend's theme song?``you're beautiful - james blunt
eh, yeah, can i diagree? XD
What is the story of your life?``summer sunshine - the corrs
bright and cheery? that's something i didnt know myself.
What was high school like?``where is the love -- black eyed peas
oh yeah, get some love goin' in CCHMS, i think it applies.
How far ahead can you get in life?``飘移-周杰倫
street racer? erm, hope my parents dont see this.
What's the best thing about your friends?``black black heart - david usher
yah luh, suan me until i can shrivel.
What's in store for this weekend?``call me when you're sober - evanescence
ill be waiting.
What song describes you?``珊瑚海-周杰倫
guess im a diehard romantic.
To describe your grandparents?``男人海洋-周传雄
no, my grandparents are NOT both male. neither are they BOTH masculine. or sexist.
How is your life going?``候鸟-S.H.E
this song speaks for itself.
What song will they play at your funeral?``白色风车-周杰倫
aww, i guess live as a romantic, die as a romantic. geez.
How does the world see you?``when im gone - 3 doors down
guess its a good reason why im depressed. :(
Will you have a happy life?``泪桥-伍佰
guess not.
What do your friends really think about you?``一千年以后-林俊杰
too ambiguous. thinking of me in the next millenium, or wad i am in the next millenium?
Do people secretly lust after you?``superwoman - gary cao ge
woah, hold yer horses! im nt sure i can take this kind of superhuman lust.. >.<
How can i make myself happy?``that girl - nsync
oh yeah, that girl is drivin me nuts.
What should you do with your life?``牙管-五月天
clench and bite it thru. good advice.
Will you ever have children?``save me - corrinne may
save me cos i have too many? or that ill become impotent? (noooo please god noooo)
and there we go!
@ 7:14 AM
long time since i updated.. guess there's irregularity 'cause of the CTs.. oh well its over now and i can blog again. (:
schools out for the term 1 break! but it doesnt seem much of a break though. gone through alot of stuff the past few days, now im seriously tired and drained.
i think about what's happened to me in the past year, and all i can say is that you've influenced me more than you may know. in different ways, you've given me comfort and at the same time pissed me off more than anything else. oh damn, like xavier mentioned, we are all walking ironies. i cant help but think that sometimes i feel so alone in this world. there's no one left except me, and the rest of the people who act as an entire separate entity, leaving me alone with my confused heart.
but i decided that i wont think about this any longer, who cares if im alone? there are so many loners out there, so i guess one more to its population wont hurt. heh, and to think i just mentioned to my dad that nothing can be entirely independent. everything has to rely on another to survive, to function, to work. just like machines cannot run without electricity, children cannot exist without parents -- Man needs his fellow man. (and women, for that fact.)
but herein lies the question -- what is it that we want to obtain from our fellow human? is it wealth, knowledge, power, or other materialistic distractions of the world? or would you rather have the comfort of a true friendship, the embrace of a loved one, or just the touch of someone you truly love? i, would give all the money in the world, just to enjoy that small, small aspect of life.
tomorrow i have to go down to CMPB for my NS medical screening. hope they dont ask for a sperm count or urine test or stuff like that. PT attire? shit, means going to have to do cardiovascular. and not forgetting all the lectures i will be missing this week. shit shit shit.
delta exp instructors training camp -- at Dairy Farm Adventure Camp, and NO, WE'RE NOT GOING TO SQUEEZE COWS TITTIES FOR MILK. period.
wushu training stayover camp -- gotta get my shoes, my clothes, heck gotta practise my goddamn singing.
thats bout it for this week folks, see yall next.
cheers.
i hope im missed.
Friday, March 02, 2007 @ 7:36 AM
had the two killer tests today, consecutively one after the other. physics paper was easy, but i think i screwed up the question on geostationary orbit. dammit. i cant believe after all the help i got, i can still get it wrong. but where, i dont know. sucks to not understand your mistakes.
its not easy to handle what you cant understand.and then during the test some GL teacher comes and disturb me, saying i keep glancing at other people's paper. wdf? and when i say no, he come and say, "you not happy issit?" WDF??! i gave him the BJ treatment. shouldve taken a picture of his face.
hypocrites, filthy hypocrites.chem test sucked. period. but i could do some questions though. :D
ah well, you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail..got back my H1 Chinese results today. surprising 'A' and 'DIST' for written and oral respectively. cant say i was any happier then. GRATS TO PATRICK FOR PASSING HIS CHINESE AND ALL THE OTHERS WHO DID UP TO THEIR EXPECTATIONS IN LAST YEARS A LVLS!
you succeed, you fail -- all parts of life's works. acceptance, denial -- all perspectives of one's being.heavy rain covered the afternoon. meaning training grounds sucked as the floor was so wet as if you walked on ice. no hall 'cos badminton had training. volleyball took the MPH. we took the pathetic wet floors outside the MPH.
what kind of a niche sport are we if we dont even have proper funding and fixed training grounds? crap school admin.. time for teacher I/Cs to wake up..getting lazy to talk about dinner also. but discovered that jc1 girls and take over von after we graduate and pass out.. a new era of
bian tai girls are taking over.. guys time to hide your underwear in safes and conform to standard colours so that they lose their interest.
imagine me and you, and you and me..