Sunday, July 20, 2008 @ 1:21 AM
its been a while.
this weekend is the first in 3 weeks i get the full 48 hours package. its also one of the most screwed up and emotional ones.
everything doesnt seem to work out well for me, especially when i look forward to it. things have their own ways of going screwy and turning against you.
when i parted ways with wil, kr, nyukmin, cs and von, my heart was especially heavy. we are like family, and all of us are going are own ways. there are those who have already left us, disappeared without a trace and gone from our lives. and slowly but surely that group of people is gonna increase in numbers.
where were the days so carefree and irresponsible? those days where we looked forward to each others' company and shelter from the harsh and cruel reality of the world?
i look forward to each bookout only to dread it when it happens. things which happen too quickly are unwanted 'cos they finish so fast you cant savour it. things happen too slowly and you dread it 'cos its too dull and you wanna move on.
things which dont happen usually do, and things you want to see happening just dont.
things which you hope for tend to get dashed away in the rain of disappointment. things which you avoid come at you head-on like a runaway truck.
life goes all out against you.
it makes you want to live for the moment but regret living at all.