Thursday, November 22, 2007 @ 6:26 PM
its the end of the week. too fast for comfort.
leaving home in half an hour.
leaving town in less than 24 hours.
wont be back for at least 336 hours.
GG lah.
when im back, i only have 96 hours to spend with my friends. then im going botak. i cant believe it lah.
my life is now flowing like im reading a book. my path is laid out, the plot's unfolding, and i have no other choice but to walk down that lonely road.
sure, its 2 years nia. but if 2 years can get me so emo already, i dont know how i can survive lah.
the people in my life, the people who changed it.
i owe them too much already. more than what i can pay for.
its unfair, for this kind of separation. its like going into some ulu ulu place where handphone no signal and thon there for 2 years.
and then you have some people, t2bf, spoiling my mood so damn often.
and i think of what clarissa just told me yesterday, about friends.
superficiality? (is there such a word)
lemme tell you, this thing doesnt exist. its either you're a true friend, or you're someone who wants to be a friend for BENEFITS. this is not being superficial. this is being OBJECTIVE.
and after 2 years, i guess i can tell who has been OBJECTIVE and who has been TRUE.
people who suck up to you. people who TRY to be nice. these are people who dont deserve to be in your life.
and there are the people who talk so much shit but nothing is ever certain. these are the people in the gray regions. and they are the most dangerous as you have no idea who they are to you.
and then of course. the people who are true to you. they stand by you through the rain and storm. they bother to argue with you endlessly (and pointlessly) just for the fun and kicks. the people whom you can FEEL you belong with. not because you're accepted, (cos that may be objective as well), but rather because the feeling is mutual.
so its been two years of my dull life. two years since i learnt how to relate OXford to ALford. haha. two years since we progressed from PATRICK to MR JOHN and back to good 'ol PAT. two years of endless pool and movies and dota and laughs and what have you(s).
and (i quote from alford) now the memories rush back to me like they miss me.
O1 at NYJC, PAE at 0623. O2 at AJ, 06/06. the slackers table (remember chinese?), the bballing, wushu training. DE camp 06, end of year exams.
O1 as an OGL, wushu as a competitor. scandals everywhere. love lost and found, and yet lost again. once friends now broken, caught up in between, complex issues amongst the trivialities. DE camp 07, new friends we meet. friends we shall stay. not forgetting pool, which has become like a normal school lesson (since we play so much) and all the bballing which never seems to stop. fucked up PE sessions, screwed up life, but yet everything seems better, with friends by your side. (hey, that rhymes!) midyears, prelims, exams galore.
now that its over, all i can say is, i want more!
i dont want this to end, i dont want this to stop.
tell me what shall happen to me if my world just stops.
friends of old and friends of new.
people who mean so much to me, yet they never knew.
dear friends. im leaving for holiday tomorrow early morning. i shall be back on 9th of december. im enlisting in army on 13th december. so if i dont have the chance to meet with you and say my goodbyes, im really sorry. take care, and my best wishes go out to all of you.
Sunday, November 18, 2007 @ 6:11 AM
new blogskin. the old one should die with the old times.
sick and tired of this. i hate catering to people's wishes.
im sick of being plastic and fake. i wanna be independent. accountable by all means.
i answer only to myself.
its ending..
soon.
Saturday, November 17, 2007 @ 4:17 AM
im home!
phew. out whole day. wasted whole day. so might as well waste the night right?
rule of three. proven itself true again. what else can i say?
walk walk, talk talk, laugh laugh.
makan burned a hole in my wallet. pool didnt help much either. but its all enjoyable anyway. (:
hat got stuck on a train. tio laughed at by two angmoh. and i guess a couple more.
crowded like siao train. squeezed on. noisy ride home.
lucky got noise reduction earphones.
tired. but still gonna play. after reading my comics.
physics. GG.
Friday, November 16, 2007 @ 6:11 AM
im tired leh.
theres only one more left. and i already gave up. like days ago.
what the hell am i doing ah?
talking rubbish all the time. i cant see any coherence in myself anymore.
i see desolation. i see a wasteland.
but the important thing is to move forward, and not worry about the past. live for the future.
strive forward. 勇敢往前走! cos thats the only thing you can do.
but oh wells. one cannot turn back time. so if u wanna change something in the past, wait for me to invent a time machine okay? den i promise will give u discount for usage if you are my friend.
then i will change my life for the better.
its not that i regret the present. my life would not be as fufilling as it is now if not for the people i met. the things they teach, the things we learn together. the fun, laughter, peace and joy. all the bastards and assholes in my life. yeah, you're important too.
so here's to the bastards and assholes, my homies out there.
here's to a better next life.
cheers people.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007 @ 5:22 AM
finally can blog again! its a couple more days to the end.
but then again, econs finished today at 1700 hours so what the heck.
its been a wild ride. two years gone by just like that.
too many things to rejoice about. and even more to regret.
too many things to think about. and yet so much thinking has been done. (dont you think?)
but i guess whats done is done. whats not done is not meant to be done. and all we have left is the rest of our lives.
so get on with it.
no more time for regrets, no more time to look back.
time to take the next step.