Saturday, April 19, 2008 @ 8:18 AM
bookout weekend!
i dont know how to describe my time spent nowadays. my life is now to the Army. haha. but anyway, i was really glad to be home. i really miss my family.
anyway. today went out whole day. morning was movie with jon and brandon at AMK hub. we watched the Forbidden Kingdom. its pretty nice, with great fight scenes! oh wells thats what you get when you put 2 of the greatest martial artists together in a movie. haha.
my dear clarissa wasnt out of bed yet by the time the movie ended, so i accompanied jon and brandon for lunch. so we talked crap and caught up with each others lives. haha. den we went to walk around AMK hub, and me and jon found these really cheap shirts we liked! haha. so we decided to buy them the next time we went back.
met clar at the mrt station, and we went town. had lunch at Azabu Sabo. haha. the food was pretty good, and the ice cream was
oiiiishhiii~ xD
i then followed her on her favourite past time, aka shopping. haha. but im used to it already lah, so okay lo. afterwhich i followed her to her dance studio, and went walking on my own around bugis.
after spending a couple of hours alone in town, i went back and we went for dinner. had 2 plates of noodles (好吃!), then we went back to city hall to shop around again. brian wasnt feeling too good and headed home first, so i sent clar home.
took cab back, and kena whacking by some bengs. the worst way to end a bad day i guess. ouchie. well, i gave them the BJ treatment too. ill bet a couple of them wont be sleeping well tonight. wahhahaha. ouch. x(
in the end, it didnt matter. no matter what i thought, what i planned, what i did. it didnt matter in the end.
life has no meaning for me. at least he does things for a reason. i do things for an invalid reason. and now my actions has no purpose.
in the end, i realize no one truly understands me. is my character too hard to comprehend? none of it made sense anyway. but i dont blame them. the way i do things, the way i keep my feelings in a box, its no wonder people arent aware of them.
to others, i suppose i appear shallow and superficial; a person who says passing things and have no concern for others. it that truly who i am? am i so useless, so hopeless, so utterly redundant in this world?
i was a fool to think that people knew, that people understood, that people genuinely cared. i was a fool to believe in such mundane things.
i have never, ever, felt so alone in this world.