Wednesday, October 25, 2006 @ 5:37 AM
i got my present from alford and patrick -- two shirts. one was a black shirt with the word "performance" on it and with engines and more.. i didnt get the link to me though. the other orange tee was more obvious, got the
yinyang sign on it. so obiang! hahaha. but i love it anyway, thanks guys. got brownies from jasline, hand-baked! haha. it was so nice that wilson took 3 PIECES! AND LEFT ME WITH ONLY ONE. (actually because i left some for my other friends, see im so generous?)
played a bit of bball today, until the rest got caught for playing in school uniform. oh well, whats new in AJC? haha. went to cut hair at AMK central. $4. wash and cut. by trainees.
homework is piling on my desk, i really have to sort them out to start with. i find myself unable to keep to my goal of studying through the holidays. i find myself bored more often than not, although there could be a hundred and one other things which is more constructive than just sitting at my laptop and lamely waiting for someone to talk to me. i have to get a grip on my life. its slipping out of control since the promos ended.
do you know how i feel? oh of course you dont. you probably dont even know about this blog, but i know about yours. i have read it, and what i see inside fills me with so much agony its not worth speaking of on the net. do you know how much you have hurt me? for once, i thought that life could be perfect. my dreams are shattered. i cut myself on the glass shards of disappointment and hurt. i bleed. blood of deep red, crimson stains on the carpet floor.
i will get over this. if i were given the chance to be immortal, would i take it? i ask myself. would anyone? with this much hurt in the world? i am beyond remembrance. forsaken and thrown into the dirt. cast aside, and left to rot here.
i am desperate. i want to hide behind a mask. i wish to elevate myself to a perfect art, to show emotion through that plain white mask. its complexities are of that of a normal person, and yet it hides a face more complex and emotional one could perceive. that, is art. to place emotions on an expressionless mask.
i wear that mask.