Sunday, March 25, 2007 @ 8:16 AM
back again. sian-jee-puah week.
friday was as usual. except we had to stay back for so long just to finish editing the competition group song. had late dinner, felt even more sick, reached home at 12, slept at 2, woke at 6, slept again and woke at 615. argh. >.<
yest went to catholic high for ce shi. i felt even more nervous than the usual performances in school. i guess it 'cos there were our opponents from rjc and njc there. and wenda and the rest of the jiao lians. haiz.
if its one thing about a competition carpet, its like a double-edged sword. it allows you to jump higher and have more friction ( and hence stability ), but at the same time, the fact that the grounds are comprised of 4 carpets joined together makes it really hard to maintain balance at the edges.
i dont really know how i did, the average responses were really ambiguous. i realised i always ask how i did for my taolu after i do it once. i guess im really over paranoid about my performance. but i guess getting other people's views are a way of improving.
i must keep up the tempo, keep going. i want to win at the competition! but then it seems quite hopeless. i think even coach and the rest gave up on me already. haiz. this sucks man. in the end, im the one pulling everyone back.
today sucked too. tuition was messy, research was crappy, bball was sucky. shit lah. my life is full of failures.
ahh fuck this emo post. yeah. pardon my fuckin' language. (i mean it.)
why am i so inept at doing certain things? why am i able to establish such a high EQ outside home but back here, i seem to fuck everything up? i cant manage my life like this. i cant even speak to my sibling nicely when im mad. fuck this shit. i must start using my kidneys before i talk luh.
bloody hell, why do some things go wrong? one person cant take too many blows at once. punch in the face ain't enough, still wanna break my arms and legs and maybe kick me in the balls den shuang. thats my screwed up life whacking me upside down for you.