Friday, October 27, 2006 @ 2:39 AM
im frozen, numb to the core. i cant feel myself. what is love? i cant feel its warmth.
i've been feeling cold shoulders, conducting my heat away. i cant think, when hypothermia starts to sink in. what is going on?
i have to take this before it gets out of hand. i only have such a brief time span to think.
im a struggling duck in oil; i cant fly, cant get away.
tell me, how can i forget you?
i dont wanna think about this now, the pain is too numbing. i want to feel it, feel the pain. its a sign im alive. im so sian now, so sick of feeling this, i cant feel anything. feel the pain.
a jab in the stomach, a kick in the head. i wonder if i fall will i realise it? is this what its like to lose your sense of touch?
i guess the only way to put it behind me is to find another. there is none, its not easy. im unwanted, a castaway unto myself. im on an island, with only palm trees and white sand for company. in the distance, thunder sounds. no shelter. im already wet anyway, how much worse can it get?
worser. it just gets worser.
i now understand the truth behind my behaviour. just as the emotional learning workshop had stated, managing the flux of my emotions is the crux to self-confidence. i think if i plot my emotional flux on a graph it would probably show a sine ( or cosine, for that matter ) graph with a large amplitude. i sincerely apologise if i seem weird or shit, but hey, i cant help it much. im sorry anyway.
need someone to talk to, someone to confide in. its been a while since i let everything out. im reaching saturation point, like a sponge underwater. yeah, just call me spongebob the wushu man. heh.