Sunday, November 26, 2006 @ 7:12 AM
i woke up too late to eat breakfast. gosh. i cant imagine a morning without food. i cant imagine a life without food. not having food is like.. sylvester without tweety. can u imagine sylvester without tweety?? omg.
chionged marvel ultimate alliance until lunch. slack and read the afternoon, with some james bond show intervals.
after dinner i went back to chiong my xbox again. until now.
gotta buck up. i keep telling myself this, and still i cannot persist to have the ability to withstand temptation to slack off. slacking. its a word i despise, yet i embrace shamelessly. i despise it, yet i cannot resist. jeez. i feel so useless.
my mind is clearer these days. i seem to have woken up from the dreams and hazy thoughts which clouded my mind. i think i have gotten over the realisation that things never go the way they seem. it is fated, i guess. fated to be this way. many people dont believe in fate. not that i do. i am forced to acknowledge that perhaps, this is a better choice. for both our sakes. perhaps, i am destined to be in my circumstance.
i resign myself to my fate. i can only force myself to see my flaws and acknowledge them, not shrivel in shame when i have to face them. i have not the courage yet to face my fears, to embrace my weaknesses, to conquer my ownself. i need the strength to carry on. i feel drained, weakened. somehow, being happy isnt enough.