Saturday, December 02, 2006 @ 5:49 AM
oh well, the pc is finally up and running. the reformatting didnt take very long. its the trouble of backing up all the stuff that kills. oh well.
emotions. how emotions overpowers. how it overrides our ability to think, to question, to analyse. emotions derides logic, emotions conquers action. the rush of adrenalin, the surge of blood in the eyes and face, the erratic heartbeat.
ever felt it? the surge of anger so hot and blindingly white that all before you is cast into empty and all you ever consider is how to strike back? the thirst for revenge, one might say. contempt, spite. all these are emotions which fight. anger gives you strength. in ways unimaginable. it gives you the energy to destroy, to crush, to obliterate. and when the dust settles, all you feel is regret and contempt for yourself.
ever felt it? the feeling of sorrow so lancing in its strike, you can feel the sting reverberating in your heart. when ever u glance at her/him, you can feel the time slow to a standstill, and all the past memories -- good and bad -- come to overwhelm you in a rush of complexities and a whirlwind of tears of joy and sadness. and then she looks at you, no longer with that light in her/his eyes, and all you can see, feel, hear, touch and smell are the pain and regret. blinded -- not by anger -- but by the emptiness in your heart. empty, like a black hole, sucking everything up in a vortex of debris and black.
why am i saying these things? its because they are the only feelings i can feel nowadays. its not that i cannot be happy, or sad for another reason, or excited about an outing. these two particular emotions seem to overwhelm me in ways unimaginable. is there a cure for the heart? and is there an air-conditioner so powerful is can cool the hottest of fiery anger? i suppose, if there were, we human being wont be as complex as we are.
and just as i was getting over you. this sort of thing had to happen.